I’d try to change for you if you took me back. But really now.

He brushed his fingers gently on her face, tracing little circles on her skin while his eyes stared in those little pools of black and brown as if lost in it.

They haven't seen each other for quite sometime and have not spoken in better terms since that episode of bitter farewells. But now that time has partially healed wounds, they were in close contact again. It was really an innocent visit of i-missed-you but with a history of oozing hot romance, it could never be innocent from the start.

She bit her lower lip and would gladly gaze back at his piercing eyes but a massive surge of familiar and uncomfortable feelings were too much for her. All of a sudden, her eyes started to water and she hesitantly looked away.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"Nothing really. It's just nothing" she replied holding his hand, intertwining her fingers with his.

Of course, it wasn't really nothing. It wasn't. It was actually something — something of utmost significance she refuses to recognize and she continues to avoid. It has been a long couple of months to be actually doing this. Again. But maybe, stupidity would lead into something like blissful idiocy and whatnot.

She looked at their intertwining fingers, a mess of sorts, and she couldn't help but think that they resembled how intertwining fingers and restless heartbeats are — a mess of sorts.

He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. She kissed him back. They looked at each other, giving off ambiguous hints and then, there was silence — the most mind numbing, awkward, unbearable silence she has ever felt since the last time he walked out of her door and out of her life for a time she though was for good.

A million and one things suddenly pop in her head simultaenously like sad music and rain and even a dialogue she'd start by saying, You know, this is supposed to be the time when you say I love you and then we start talking about us. Our dreams, our hopes, our future — together. She wanted to say something, anything, so badly she ended up stuttering.

"You know. . . "

"What?"

"Nothing."

She shook her head from all this absurdity and took a breath. Then again, what is there to talk about?

"Anyway, I have to go. It was really nice seeing you again."

He stood up and took his things, almost abruptly, and went for the door. She followed him in little steps, trying not to look too desperate. She'd ask him to stay but then again, what he said months before, echoed in her hollow head, bellowing like mad.

"I can't love you."

She gave him a little peck on the cheek and waved goodbye. He smiled, waved back and drove away. She held her breath, watching him dissapear towards the horizon.

"It was nice seeing you too" she whispered to herself so softly she almost didn't hear herself anymore. She sighed and walked back to her house.

Once again, she faltered.